This is the grave of my brother, who was stillborn 18 years ago.
It's an open secret in my family. Everyone knows about it, but we rather not talk about it. Like whenever my parents get the chance to go back to Newcastle, we all know that they'll visit Azzim's grave.
This picture, which was taken on my parents' trip to England in April, and some others taken on the trip, are the only pictures that I've ever seen of the grave. I've never been to the grave myself.
I never thought about it, but after looking at the pictures, I know it must have been devastating for my parents to lose a child. My mum was eight months along, if I'm not mistaken, and just one day, the baby stopped breathing. I think I would have broken down if that happened to me. And to know that it happened to my own mother makes me wonder about my mum's strength.
It's an open secret in my family. Everyone knows about it, but we rather not talk about it. Like whenever my parents get the chance to go back to Newcastle, we all know that they'll visit Azzim's grave.
This picture, which was taken on my parents' trip to England in April, and some others taken on the trip, are the only pictures that I've ever seen of the grave. I've never been to the grave myself.
I never thought about it, but after looking at the pictures, I know it must have been devastating for my parents to lose a child. My mum was eight months along, if I'm not mistaken, and just one day, the baby stopped breathing. I think I would have broken down if that happened to me. And to know that it happened to my own mother makes me wonder about my mum's strength.
My parents didn't stop trying. And exactly three years to the date of the loss of one son, my mum gave birth to my (only!!!) brother, Alias Iskandar Ashraf bin Azani on the 27th November 1994, who is healthy, and is doing his PMR right now. =)
Amazing coincidence? I don't think so. I feel like it was more like God's way of saying that instead of forever mourning the loss of one son, my parents should celebrate the life of another.
Oh yeah, I've always been fascinated with the name Afdzal Mikhail. I know that is what I'll name my baby boy. And it's interesting that the initials Afdzal Mikhail is the same as Azzim Malik, and funnily enough, Malik & Mikhail are both names of angels. The similarities didn't occur to me until I saw the pictures of the graves. So yeah, if I were to have a baby boy, his name will definitely be simlar to Azzim.
Coincidence again? Let's just say it was serendipity. =)
Amazing coincidence? I don't think so. I feel like it was more like God's way of saying that instead of forever mourning the loss of one son, my parents should celebrate the life of another.
Oh yeah, I've always been fascinated with the name Afdzal Mikhail. I know that is what I'll name my baby boy. And it's interesting that the initials Afdzal Mikhail is the same as Azzim Malik, and funnily enough, Malik & Mikhail are both names of angels. The similarities didn't occur to me until I saw the pictures of the graves. So yeah, if I were to have a baby boy, his name will definitely be simlar to Azzim.
Coincidence again? Let's just say it was serendipity. =)
azzim. i really like that name. :)
ReplyDeleteyour mother must've been strong, and your dad as well, to go through all that.
sometimes i wonder, if/when i become a parent myself, if i could be as strong as our parents. sigh.
ada hikmah disebalik everything. azzim's in a better place now <3
I know he is =)
ReplyDeleteIt's bittersweet la to look at the photos. And it's still weird how Iskandar was born on the same day as Azzim's death.
I hope we'll become strong parents. =) We need to be. The world's getting scarier and scarier. -___-