Wishful thinking...

I've always known that ever since I started my degree in Monash, the possibility of me going to Monash Australia would be very slim. Not only because of the major I'm taking, but also because I didnt want to burden my parents so much because they still have my 5 younger siblings to think of.

But the other day, while we were celebrating my mum's birthday during buka puasa, my dad asked me, "Is it possible for you to do your summer semester for any electives in Australia?"

And I was like, "It might be possible. I'm not sure, but I'll check"

And when I ask him, is he willing to bear the burden of me staying there for 3 months, he nodded.

For the first time ever since I started in Monash, I was actually able to flirt with the possibility of spending some time overseas, be it for three months. I couldn't help it, but I got really excited. I almost jumped with joy cause my dad gave his consent for me to go. I couldn't help grinning all through the night.

So the next day, I went over to the course management office to ask whether it was possible if I wanted to do one semester in Australia during the summer. And although I can't remember much of what the lady said, I remembered things like "might have visa problems", "not advisable", "need course director's approval" and "might not be able to get approval from Australia".

Just like that, my hopes deflated. And I just feel like I will never be able to go anywhere. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like Malaysia, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on some experiences cause I'm here. I guess I'm a bit... jealous of my friends there.

I'm being a bit melancholic, I know. But I can't help it. Like I said, it was just wishful thinking. I guess it's just not in my cards to go overseas anytime soon. I feel like my future is set in stone, and that I will never go anywhere.