Life & Death

I was happily minding my own business today, hanging out with Ara and helping her shop for clothes for work, and so I got the shock of my life when a few people told me that one of my ex-schoolmates had passed away. And he was from my batch, so it was even closer to home.

His name was Ezaar, and we were never good friends, but he was nice la back in primary school cause we were classmates back then. But we never talked in high school, maybe due to my anti-socialness, so it's not like I know him well.

But I do grieve for a life that's lost, and for the pain that the parents must be going through right now, for no parent should have to go through the pain of burying their own child.

Inalillah. Rest in peace, Ezaar. You'll be missed by loads. =(

This made my friends and I realise how a life can be lost in a split-second and it is so scary to know that this could actually happen when you're at such a young age, when there is so much that they can try to achieve, so much that they can hope for.

It's so sad to think that for all these people, a dream is lost, a life is gone.

And Nat also told me something that made me realise my own mortality. She said that one of the guys from our batch has been diagnosed with testicle cancer. =(

Maybe this is why there is a saying, "Live your life like you were dying", cause you will never know when your own life might end.

We're not that invincible.

My songlist

Songs that I'm currently listening to in my playlist:

Kate Voegele - Devil In Me [Acoustic] (LOVE the original and the acoustic versions)



Kate Voegele - You Can't Break A Broken Heart



Brooke Fraser - Sound of Silence (it's Simon & Garfunkel's cover and I love this cover cause I like the original song, too!)



David Cook - Life On The Moon (I play this song on replay like 10 times a day!)



Beyonce - If I Were A Boy (I am ashamed to say I like this song)



Britney Spears - Out From Under



Britney Spears - Shattered Glass



Jon McLaughlin - Beating My Heart



Shayne Ward - Until You



Oh, and an old song - Steps - The way You Make me Feel (This is like 90's pop all the way. LOL!!!)



Yes, I like to listen to pop songs. I'm weird, I know.

=)

My results for the semester, which I am definitely proud of. =)

Not as good as last sem's, but it's definitely beyond my expectations!

Now I can go through my holidays in peace. LOL.

By the way, my "husband" is Arsenal's new captain. I'm happy, but still feel like he's too young. He's 21! Oh well. Go Gunners (let's hope the shitty period is over. Please!)!!! =)

16 tags (from Zaty)

Zaty tagged me on Facebook, but I'm so malas to do this thing on Facebook, so I'm doing it on the blog!

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you. (Of course, I'm not gonna tag 16 people. Cause I'm lazy and most of the time they tak buat pun)

1. I am at a crossroad in my life, because at this particular moment, I'm not sure of what I want to do once I graduated from uni. If you were to ask me right now, "What are you going to work as after uni?", I can't answer that question.

2. I HATE listening to the news on the radio. Not because of the news itself, but because I hate listening to how the newscasters pronounce things. IT MAKES ME CRINGE. I know it's discrimination, but I can't help it. Since she's in the car with me most of the time this year, my sister has caught onto this rather unfortunate "disease" of mine. Whoops.

3. I am dreading getting married. Okay, maybe not getting married exactly, but more like dreading the wedding. If it was up to my grandmother, I'll not have any say on what's going to happen on the big day. Plus, I hate being the centre of attention and everyone looks at the bride on the wedding day. Blargh. Maybe I'll just elope when the time comes. LOL.

4. I love to sing. Really, I do. =) Just not in public.

5. I love Edward Cullen, but I really dislike Robert Pattinson as Edward.

6. I have this list of all these things that I want to do, but I never got around to doing any of them. Huh.

7. My goal in life is to be able to have a job that will give me satisfaction, both emotionally and financially.

8. I make the WORST poker face EVER. People will know exactly how I am feeling at that particular moment. Which is why I rarely play Poker and Bluff. But I'm quite good at other card games. =D

9. I know this is vain, but I love it when the sun shines into my eyes cause it makes my eyes prettier. I told you it's vain. Hehe.

10. I despise the act of smoking and most of my friends who smoke know about this. The thing is right, they find it rather amusing that I think it's disgusting. My cousin even said to me, "See la nanti. You're gonna end up with a guy who smokes". I sincerely hope that won't happen cause I might die from lung cancer. Or asphyxiation.

11. Right now I'm going through a sort of self-censorship phase where when I wanna say WTF, I end up saying WHAT THE *mouths the word silently that the only thing people can hear is the "ck" sound at the end*. But it still comes out once in a while. Plus I still go around saying "Oh SHIT" all the time. So I still have to wash my mouth with soap from time to time. Haih.

12. I want my babies to look like me when I was a baby cause I was a very cute baby. What the hell, right? Gila syok sendiri. LOL.

13. I love listening to songs that other people don't know of. Once the song starts playing on radio, it'll be like a death sentence for that song to me. Exaggeration, I know.

14. I find it very hard to say "I love you" to my family members. I don't know why. Oh well, like they said, 'Action speaks louder than words', right?

15. I really like it when guys can hold up an intelligent conversation with me without actually looking/sounding like a know-it-all.

16. I am seriously worried that I might end up not marrying at all because I am superbly picky when it comes to guys. It's not their fault really. That's just how I am. I thought I was the only one, but turns out some of my friends are like that, too. PS: Please believe me when I say I don't have a boyfriend. Don't say things like, "Ye la tu. Tipu!". It'll just annoy me.

Girls Day Out(s)

I've had loads of fun this week. On Monday I met up with Ara, whom I've not seen since she flew off to Australia back in February. Spent the whole day with her in Sunway Pyramid and we caught up on sooooo many things. It was fun cause frankly, I was a bit scared that it was gonna be a bit awkward cause we've not been in that much contact since she went off. But I shouldn't have worried, cause it was like she never left and we laughed and chatted and ate and watched movies...okay, so we basically did everything. LOL. That was a nice day. And it was nice having her back in KL. =)

On Thursday, I snuck into MMU and stayed with Nat in her hostel room. We went for a very late lunch in Alamanda. While we were there, we went to Video Ezy and spent like more than half an hour cause we saw this section full of Classic movies and the movies were like RM6 each.

We were like kids in a candy store!!!! We ended up buying a few movies, including one called Paris - When It Sizzles that has Audrey Hepburn in it. I love Audrey Hepburn!!!! She's so cute! But we were a bit disappointed cause we couldn't find Breakfast For Tiffany's. Nat bought Casablanca, though. Gonna borrow it from her later!

We also saw movies like Wuthering Heights and Gone With The Wind, but didnt buy cause we were lacking in funds. Hehehehehehe. Plus, we werent searching for depressing movies, and those are quite depressing.

So Thursday night we kinda had a classic movie marathon where we watched this movie called The Houseboat that has Sophia Loren in it. She looks soooo pretty in there! The movie's a bit The Nanny-ish. Nat and I liked the movie, but we dont understand why the lead guy has to be so....OLD.

I don't see how the ladies can be so pretty and you have these men who are supposedly debonair la, but they do nothing for me. -__- Same goes for Paris - When It Sizzles! The guy was supposedly this macho guy (with loads of chest hair, which is just so GROSS) and really, I dont see the appeal. I mean, some of these old "leading men" look old enough to be the leading ladies fathers. Creepy thought, okay. *shudders* Nat and I were quite disturbed by the chest hair, by the way. -_-

After watching the movies, we laid down and had this girly-girly talk where we ended up talking mostly about guys. LOL. We are such girls. And we ended up sleeping at 4 in the morning. It was soooo hard to wake up the next morning. Felt like we had hangovers, when all we had were green tea.

I also snuck into her class on Friday morning and I actually understood some of the concepts in the Engineering Maths *gasps*. Yeah, I shocked myself, too. When I said to Nat that I kinda understood the things on the board, she gave me this look that says "You're weird." LOL.

Oh, by the way, I also bought Dirty Dancing at Video Ezy and just now, I watched the movie for the first time. Oh yeah, I was a Dirty Dancing virgin. LOL. Patrick Swayze is SO HOT in the movie! I didn't like the girl that much, but Patrick Swayze......God, now I know why people go gaga over him. He IS the reason to watch the movie!


Oh, he's so sexy! Girls really should watch this movie, just cause he's in it. To those of you interested, he has a nice ass in the movie. Hahahaha.

Okiedokes, I need to sleep. I seem to be sleep-deprived nowadays. Which is really baffling cause I'm on holidays.

Pissed off

I am a bit pissed off right now.

Yesterday I put up a post talking about how I'm on holidays and stuff and how I'm a bit bored right now.

Also, I put up a link for people to download this small clip of me singing like 15 seconds of David Cook's Light On songs just because I thought I could and cause I thought it would be funny to see people's reactions.

Well, I thought wrong cause this morning, my post dah hilang. Kenapa the post hilang???? It's not like I posted his song up pun. I just posted my nonsense singing up je. Takkan tu pun tak leh?

What.the.hell. Fine Blogger, I'm sorry for posting up nonsense on my blog. Next time I'll post the song up on Youtube then.

PS: My nonsense was only 200 KB. If it was the real song, the size would be at least 10 times of that.

Samir Nasri, you are my hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Arsenal. That was a good GREAT match! =)

My faith in thee has been restored. LOL.

To thee I pledge my support, even though winning is a long shot. Haih.

Random ramblings number God-knows-what

I HATE EXAMS.

Especially when you know you can answer everything, but you couldn't because you didn't have enough time to write down everything.

At times like this I really wish I can write as fast as I think.

I wanna cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Plus, my body is rebelling. I just had to fall sick on the day that I had a paper. I had to bring in one packet of tissue with me into the exam hall cause my nose was runny.

Sigh.

Oh yeah, suddenly I remembered a conversation I had with a few friends about pre-conceived notions, first impressions and external appearances, and how wrong they can be.

This subject first crept up when I was studying with my friend and we found out that one of the papers that the seniors said was hard is not hard at all, but because we had the pre-conceived notion that it's hard, we decided to only study the units properly near the exams. While we were doing the questions, we were like, "This is it????? It's not that hard! Dammit. Should've studied earlier" and we cursed ourselves for not studying earlier.

So yeah, preconceived notions can suck. Haih. So we're planning on not listening so much to what the seniors are saying cause we dont want to start panicking when there's really nothing to worry about.

And while we were talking about this, we ended up on the subject of first impressions and how these impressions can end up hurting you. I know people look at me and straight away classify me as a nerd. I'm not surprised though. LOL. But it gives me such pleasure when I manage to prove them wrong. People are kinda surprised to find that I can be really bimbotic sometimes. And I don't know whether I'm a good judge of character cause usually my first impressions of people tend to be wrong. Usually the people are not as good as I thought they were. Hahaha.

We also started talking about external appearances. I'm not trying to sound vain, but I know that at this moment (fine, maybe not this PARTICULAR moment, cause I have my panda eyes -_-), I look better than when I was in school. And it irks me that whenever I see my old schoolmates, they look at me differently, like they're reassessing me. And I dont know whether I should feel insulted or flattered when they say something along the lines of, "Eh, you look different la now" or "You dah kurus la" or "Eh, you look pretty now" because on the one hand, it means that they notice how I look, but on the other hand, it basically implies that they thought I was ugly and fat last time. This also applies to all those family members that I only see during Raya. Haih.

But if the compliments came from people who I've known for like ages, I dont mind, cause I realised that most of the time, they dont care about my outer appearance and when they say I look pretty, it makes me happy. LOL. Plus, I've known them since like forever, so I know whether they're sincere or not.

I used to have some really bad self-esteem issues, so when I get compliments from people, I tend to be very cynical because I'm not sure the compliments are sincere or not. And if people say they like me because of how I look, I feel so awkward, and a bit put-off, actually, because I know I'm just average-looking.

On the other extreme, I also hate people who only become friends with me because I'm smart and they figured that they could get answers to questions from me. Just because I'm nice, doesnt mean you can trample over me, okay? I have feelings, too. I realised that this has been happening since when I was in school, when people come up to me only when they need my help with their work, and once they're done, they isolate me.

Yeah, story of my life.

So now, when people ask me why I like to study alone, I guess it's because I'm used to studying alone and like they say, old habits die hard. But I realised that I'm a happier person now as compared to when I was in school. And what's really ironic to me is that when I was searching for friends, there were none, but now when I'm comfortable with being just by myself, people come to me.

Funny how life works, no?

Okay, I need to go now. Must start studying for Law (my last paper, Thank God!!!!!!!!!).

Toodles, people! =)