Today.

12.15 AM: Got back home from Monash. Took a bath and prayed.

1.00 AM: Slept.

1.30 AM: Woke up. The room was too hot. Turned on the air-cond.

2.30 AM: Room was too cold. Turned off air-cond.

3.30 AM: Woke up and went SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, haven't finished studying.

5.30 AM: Couldn't be bothered to pretend to sleep anymore. Woke up and started worrying like nobody's business. Seriously thought of deferring the paper.

6.30 AM: Screw this paper. I'm just gonna do it.

I've never been this way when it comes to exams. What the fuck. I hate this paper. Wish me luck.

During the Kelantan-Negeri Sembilan match, I was like:

First 10 mins: "GOMO KLATE GOMO!"

When the Kelantan fans started becoming rowdy: "Bo la buat kenat. Bakpo la jadi lagu ni."

Negeri's first goal: "Saya buke oghe Klate. Saya oghe Ingle." (I'm not Kelantanese, I'm English. LOL.)

Final result: "BAKPO KLATE BAKPO?????" =(

Yeah. I was muttering to myself in Kelantanese the whole match. And I rarely speak Kelantanese in public, mind you. Even with my cousins I don't talk Kelantanese.

But at least now Arsenal leapfrogged Man Utd in the Premier League table, so I'm still happy. Lol.

Oh, I realised that last weekend, I had four days to study for my papers on the 11th and 12th. (Auditing and Accounting Theory). I had the choice of either:

• Using most of my time to study for Audit, get a Distinction for that, but then I'd end up ditching Theory and might fail that stupid paper. Or,
  
• Study Theory and try to pass my paper, but then I won't have enough time to cover everything for Audit and hence might not get the most marks I could.
  

Obviously I went for the latter. I just hope what I've managed to study would be enough. I hate opportunity costs. =(

OMG. I've just notices that this post would be my 281st post.

What the helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

This blog has been in existence forever then.

Maybe I should change to another blog.

Oooohhhh, I should do that when the posts number reach 300!!!

Then I shall change the blog name to something more grown-up sounding like aliaazani.blogspot.com or something like that la. LOL.

"sugaholic" was sooooo three years ago. Hahahahahahaha.

Yep, the stress is getting to me. I can't even talk in coherent sentences anymore these past few days.

And I realised I have the tendency to either have too many posts or not post anything at all when I'm stressed out.

Good thing about this blog is that there aren't many people that are reading it. Although I realised that I do have those occasional silent readers. I can't understand what makes my post so intriguing, though. Dah la I sound like a bimbo in my posts most of the time nowadays.

Okay, back to studying. URGH.

I don't know why, but today's paper was ridiculously ridiculous.

I have been on track every single week for this unit.

I have been studying for this unit like mad these past few days.

And then the paper turned out like SHIT.

I know I still have a chance at getting Distinction, but oh dear God, I felt so stupid after the paper. I actually abandoned a question halfway because I just couldn't get it. When the invigilators took the paper away, I just sat there, my mind blank.

After the paper, most of us went to eat at Papa John's and that was nice la cause I didn't have to pay since Acap owed both Kacip and I, so we both got free dinner. Lol. Thanks Acap.

But after the dinner, in Liyana's car, when the last of the adrenaline from the day wore off, I started becoming slightly depressed. I just felt such disappointment, like all of my effort has gone to waste.

And then I told Liyana "I wish I had a boyfriend right now. I just want a guy who can be supportive when I'm feeling down like this" I mean, I was listening to her talk with her boyfriend and I know it must be nice for her to have that someone to talk to when she's stressed out.

It didn't help that when I got home, the first thing Anis asked was "How was your paper?"

So while I was complaining to her, I think the stress of the last few days kinda exploded and I ended up shedding a few tears. I hate the fact that it's so easy for me to cry nowadays.

I think I'm feeling the effects of a burnout.

I am just so tired of everything right now. And I still have two more papers.

I am so scared.

I have been feeling so anxious the whole day. I've been pacing around my room non-stop , trying to calm myself.

It's funny that I'm feeling the anxiety. I mean, it's not like I've never had exams before.

BUT I AM STILL SO BLOODY SCARED.

Oh My God.

I feel like hyperventilating right now.

See that? That was me two days ago. My room was extra cold that night so I wrapped my quilt around myself and ended up looking like a giant burrito (in Alwani's words). What stress does to you. Lol.

Wisdom is painful.

I think my wisdom tooth is coming out.

I've been feeling the pain for a few days already, but yesterday was the WORST. The pain was ridiculous. I ate 2 Panadol Actifast tablets and the pain only numbed down for an hour. ONE HOUR. What the hell. Luckily there were some Arcoxia around, so I had that later on and it seems to work. The pain's more bearable today.

I was in so much pain yesterday I ended up watching Zeitgeist again and started thinking about whether the US Federal Reserve is really as screwed-up as the documentary portrayed. Yeah, I watched that cause there was nothing interesting on TV. Weird, I know.

Liyana came to study and she slept over last night. I feel so bad for her cause I couldn't study much because the pain was making it so hard to concentrate. But I think i ended up entertaining her when she watched the Arsenal - Tottenham match with me cause I tend to get really excited whenever I watch football. Lol.

When she saw me in pain, she asked her mum and her boyfriend on what to do and somehow they both gave the same answer, which was to put a cotton wool soaked with minyak cap kapak IN THE MOUTH. I was like, "NO!!!!!"

So i did a more conventional way of lessening the pain, which was to gargle saltwater. And then I put some minyak geliga that my mum gave me, and applied it on the outside of my cheek and around my jawline. Kinda helped, but the throbbing was still there. GAH.

Sleeping last night was literally a nightmare. I kept on being woken up by the throbbing in my mouth and I can feel it all the way to my ear. Liyana kept on asking me "You okay tak ni?" Like I said, I felt so bad for her. =(

They said that you'll get your wisdom tooth when you're "old enough to have supposedly gained some wisdom".

If this is what you have to go through to become wise, I'd rather be stupid all my life.