I'm still alive!

Listening to - We Belong Together - Gavin Degraw (love the song...especially the ending part!)

I don't have the time to write a long entry rite now....i'm really busy!!!!
I'll write a long entry on wednesday....I have sooooooo many things to talk about....especially about discovering my long-lost muscles...hopefully i'll be able to write down an entry soon!

those wet, wet days....*sigh*

Malaysia has always been known for it's unpredictable weather....I mean, it could be raining one minute, and the next minute the sunrays would blind u...but before you could reach for your trusty sunnies, it starts to rain again...

I'm still sick today, but I decided to go to college anyways...thinking that when I went back at 2 it won't be raining yet. However, Mother Nature decided to fool around with me...I realised that it was going to be a wet, wet day when at 1 o'clock it looked as if it was close to night time. At 1.30, it started to rain so heavily that i got scared! And it just so happened that my car was parked so far away from the place where the bus dropped me off. Good thing kavin was there! he took me to my car, so I was spared the torture of having to walk in the rain and risk getting wetter than I already was!

I got stuck in traffic for half an hour and I couldn't even go back because the road that I was going to take was closed because of flash floods...so I had to take a detour and I went to my cousin's house. When I reached my cousin's house, I was soaking wet from head to toe and shivering like hell. My grandma was there and I haven't seen her in quite some time, so it was the perfect opportunity to catch up with her. I guess the flood was a blessing in disguise because I wouldn't have thought of going to my cousin's house (shame on me!) but hey, all turned out well. And I don't think I got pneumonia from the ferocious rain....yet!

So now I'm back home, and as I look out my window, it looks like it's going to rain again....is it any surprise that a lot of people are down with the flu nowadays? I got to go study now....I have my Econs mock exam tomorrow!!! (eekkkkk!)

the day i fell sick...

As I'm typing this, I am stuck in my room, feeling really crappy, my head thumping, my stomach churning, my lips dry and my whole body just uncomfortable. I'm sick....:(:(:( I don't like being sick....it makes me feel immobile, helpless, cranky n nauseous.

And the funny thing was, I was bragging to my friend last Tuesday that I have not been sick at all for the past 6 months...haha, so much for being invincible! I'm forced to eat my own words! *sheepish smile* And what's worse is that I got sick during the weekends!!!!!!!!!! talk about bad timing!!! :(

Now i'm stuck in bed, hungry like hell but with no appetite whatsoever, left at home while my siblings went out with my parents n i am left with absolutely nothing to do. Nada. even the tv hates me.

But the thing is, i used to adore getting sick during my school days...because it means that I get to stay at home n do absolutely nothing. Come on, who hasn't fake being sick once in a while to stay at home? ;) Now that I'm in college however, with my flexible lecture timings, I actually enjoy going to college...haha. I mean, I can go do a whole bunch of stuff first before actually heading to college...n since I can drive, it's all the better. But right now, the thought of sitting in my car n driving around is giving me a headache.

I think I better go catch up on some more snooze n hopefully, I'll feel more human later....

of test results n nasi lemak...

My test results from What Makes You A Real Beauty test:

alia, your Intelligence makes you a real beauty

There's nothing more beautiful than a good head on your shoulders. Witty and wise, you're never short on interesting conversation or an informed opinion. You like to stay on top of what's going on around you. From world events to local hot spots, you don't wanna miss a beat. But all those smarts don't mean your nose is in a book all day. You're a friendly soul who knows how to have a good time and whoop it up. From grabbing a casual dinner with friends to checking out a hip, new art exhibit, you're not afraid to have a little fun. What could be smarter than that?

That does sound like me...weird...but I would rather go to a theme park (like Genting, which I am still craving to go to even though I just went to Genting 2 months ago) than an art museum...but the Louvre Musuem sounds interesting....the Mona Lisa's there! :D Ohhh...can't wait for the Da Vinci Code movie to come out!!!

So anyways, I was really bored today n my hands saja menggatal so I decided to go to Wikipedia to see if they have Malaysian food in the encyclopedia. (i know, i know...it's pretty lame, but I was bored!) So then I typed in Nasi lemak n this picture came out:



And there was this article talking about nasi lemak, blah, blah, blah....And at the bottom of the page was an external link that says What To Look Out For When Eating Nasi Lemak, so I clicked on that....n my stomach rumbled after reading the article...most of the time I was nodding my head n going, "yeah la" while I was reading the article. The article mentioned top 10 "basic ingredients" of Malaysian's beloved nasi lemak:

1. The rice must be somewhat firm and not soggy, clumpy and sticky. Excellent nasi lemak rice is fluffy, with the rice grains separated or nicely loose. If it is sticky, then it's not well done.

2. Next, the rice must also be fragrant with the smell of coconut milk in it. A lot of places now serve nasi but not nasi lemak, there's hardly any aroma in the rice. Pandan leaves are also a must, otherwise it would lack the extra aroma that the pandan leaves bring to the rice.

3. The sambal (that's the chili sauce/paste that comes with it) needs to have a kick. But not to the point it becomes bitter. Some vendors use chili boh to make the sambal - that's usually a no no. Good sambal needs to be made from fresh ingredients - chili, ikan bilis (anchovies) and onions. Some sambal is a bit on the sweet side which doesn't quite appeal to me. I think sambal should just be spicy. I have been informed by Davy that the Penang variety comes with fresh chillies, lime or lemon juice, hehkoh and grilled belacan. Yummy!

4. The egg can either be hard boiled, fried or sunny side up. Whichever way you like it, that's fine. Nasi lemak is not quite the same without it. If you like, it could also be served as an omellete. I like it hard boiled or sunny side up.

5. The ikan bilis (fried anchovies) needs to be crispy and tasty. Some guys fry it too hard and it comes it bitter. If that's the case - spit it out! One interesting note is that I have found that the cheap anchovies (which are bigger) tend to work better in nasi lemak.

6. Roasted peanuts are a must in nasi lemak. It's just not nasi lemak without it. Most places get this right so if you come across any nasi lemak stall that does not have peanuts, they don't know what they are doing. Avoid it.

7. Cucumbers should have been treated so that they have had the bitterness taken out of it already. Eating a bitter cucumber is not a nice thing.

8. Nasi lemak is best served on banana leaf because the extra fragrance that comes from the banana leaf gives the nasi lemak an extra bit of flavour.

9. Fried chicken is the best complement to nasi lemak. Some may prefer curry chicken, fried fish, sotong or beef rendang. That's a matter of personal preference - I like it with fried chicken.

10. Finally, nasi lemak has to be served warm!!!!!

Great....I'm hungry and it's 10 o'clock at night....I want nasi lemak!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stereotyping...

STEREOTYPE - Regarding someone as embodying or conforming to a set image or type.

First off, i want to say CONGRATS to my cousin & self-proclaimed my number 1 devoted reader, Tisha, for passing her test!:D I'm so happy for u! hehehe! n u actually take time to read my blog? thank u!

Today was such a boring day...I was busy in class the whole day and it is just sooooooooo tiring to listen to lectures and study all the time! :(:( So then, when Miss Tisha called me to help her a bit with her test she mentioned that there were some Malay, tudung-wearing girls shooting daggers at her and she got really scared by them, I realised that because she was not wearing the tudung and was more, how shall I say this, urbanised & westernised than those girls that to those girls, she falls into this category: EVIL RICH BITCH.

I pity her because she fell victim to the evil curse that is STEREOTYPING. But seriously, come on, which one of us do not stereotype people? We do it all the time. Somewhere in the world, someone's judging someone else right now solely based on their appearance. It's human nature I guess, to stereotype people.I remembered talking with a friend back in school and I was like talking at the speed of light and she was just amazed! She was like, "the first time I saw you, I thought you were the quiet type...i didn't know you could talk so much!" and I was like thinking, hmmmm? Does everyone think of me that way? Some other cases of stereotyping that I noticed:

*If a girl likes to wear sexy clothes, they're a bimbo/bitch who does not know shit about anything other than how to apply make-up and how to look flirty.(Many Malays seem to have this sort of thinking set in their mind) So wrong. I know some of these people who are hot n are scoring straight A's.(Jealous la ni....)

*If thay wear tudung/scarves, they are a very pious or quiet person who does not know how to have fun. This is also a wrong perception. A lot of my friends wear tudung, and sometimes I wear it also, and these friends are among the wackiest people I've ever met. :D Oh yeah, and I realised that even though some people wear tudung, they're bitchier than those stereotype bitches and you just feel like slapping them in the head.

*Just because this girl looks like the quiet-quiet type, doesn't mean she really is. Take me, for instance...yes, I am quiet, but most people close to me know that I can talk a plant to death

*Just because some people smoke, it means they're evil...i know this is not true...but still...(see, I'm stereotyping!)

*If guys are dressed smartly n/or they are a fashion designer, they most definitely are gay. (I used to think this is true also *ashamed*) Some are, some aren't...some are just...effeminate.

We stereotype people everyday in everyway. Is our mindset ever gonna change? I don't think so...but do you realise that almost 100% of the time our perception of people will change when we get to know them better and most of the time, they are not the type of person we thought they were when we first laid our eyes on them? So the question is, why do we stereotype? Aren't we all supposed to be unique with our own mind and way of thinking?

Guess we'll never know....until then, we'll keep on stereotyping people according to how they look and how they act. Didn't they say don't judge a book by it's cover? But do we ever listen? Noooooooo....

I dunno what else to write about...so I guess I'll write some more next time, when I have some more "brilliant" opinions of mine that I need to spill out....ttfn!

depression...

Song of the moment - Lemon Tree - Fools Garden...(hahaha, it's a modern classic now)

I remembered back when I was in school (Form 5 to be exact) when I was going through this really dark time. I was just feeling down all the time, n i remembered bursting into tears at school over nothing. I was just feeling....down. I guess you could say it was the SPM stress, but I dunno, I just felt bloody depressed and crappy. My friends distanced themselves from me (or maybe it was the other way around, i can't remember) and the stress of the exams just kept gnawing at me. It was ridiculous! I remembered thinking, am I really that bad of a friend? Why is everyone avoiding me? I know it's like really petty stuff, but y'know, school was literally my life back then. And when friends distance themselves from you, you just can't help but ask, WHY? And then I realised that most of my friends were beautiful and were busy catching the boys' eyes and I didn't have the looks to do that so yes, it depressed me then. I mean, I was never the beautiful one. I was the smart one, the big sister, the budak kecik, the doctor's daughter, the garang Cleanliness leader...but never the beautiful one.

Heck, even now I'm not the beautiful one. I know that when I go out with my cousin or sister, people will be looking at them, not at me. They're gorgeous! Next to them, I look really weird. But before you think that I'm going to go into this pathetic, pity me phase, I realised that even though I will never be beautiful to a lot of people, my family n true friends love me for who I am. To them, I'm a great listener, i'm weird, i'm their driver, i'm goofy, i'm sarcastic, i understand them n they know they can come to me when they have problems. I'm just that sort of person, I guess. I like to help people but somehow, I just can't help myself. Don't ask me why. I just don't open up to people that well. I'm the type that bottles up all her emotions inside n it's really saddening, but I just can't bring myself to talk about it.

So what did I do when I realised that I was going through a slight depression? I just did what I do best..i STUDIED...mwahahahahahaha! Yep, it's true....I realised that if I can't excel in the looks n social department, I can at least make sure that I'll be able to get good grades! So I hung out with people that can help me with my studies n accepted me for my fat, sarcastic, annoying self and studied for my exams. So in the end, I managed to get 7 A's out of the possible 10 for my SPM n to know that I did it on my own was the best gift I could give myself. I learnt to appreciate what I have...but it's still a bit hard. As a human being, you don't stop wanting and needing and sometimes I do wish that I have someone special who will love me for who I am, warts and all and can be there for me when I need them. But hey, I'm not going to be all depressed again over nothing. Been there, done that, not planning on going back.

So why am I saying all this? I really don't know...I guess I just want to let go of my past n not be an emo, depressed loser anymore.

PS: I changed my layout again! Pink was just too....pink!

our so-called civilised world...

Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been
Would you've been a little angel or an angel of sin?
Tomboy running around, hanging with all the guys.
Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?
I paid for the murder before they determined the sex
Choosing our life over your life meant your death
And you never got a chance to even open your eyes
Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life?

These lines came from one of my current favourite songs. The song's title is Happy Birthday from Flipsyde. And it's pretty obvious that's this fellla's talking about the pain of having to abort his unborn baby. Even though we live in a"civilised", modern world, where we have to be open-minded, the fact that abortion is happening everywhere is pretty hard to comprehend. People who go for abortions kill their unborn babies, but who are they to decide that the baby does not deserve a chance to live? To me, abortion is only an option when the mother will die if they keep the baby. I mean, if the mother has cancer, it would be a risk to both mother and baby if she continues with the pregnancy, right? Even then, termination is only used as a last resort.

However, most of the time, people who go for abortions are not mothers with cancers. Usually they're teenage girls who had sex with their boyfriends and ended up pregnant by accident and they have to abort the baby if they dont want to get into trouble with their parents. I mean, hello? They should know sex is mainly for creating babies (unless they've been living in some tempurung somewhere), other than pleasuring themselves, so if they're not protected while having sex, they should know that the risk of getting pregnant is high, right? I heard stories from my friends on how their friends had gone for abortions and it's really freaky knowing that these people can do that to their own flesh and blood. My cousin told me that one of her "acquintance" had aborted twice! Won't that like affect your chances of having a baby? And anyhow, in this "civilised" world that we live in, don't u think abortion is a bit barbaric?

I remembered reading somewhere in Reader's Digest that 36% of Filipino couples DO NOT KNOW that sex produces babies....hmmm...weird but true...i wonder where they think babies come from then....;]

oh yeah, i went to KLCC for the CLEO's 50 Eligible Bachelors preview and it was so fun! I realised that it's so wrong to judge a book by it's cover (or in this case, judge a guy by his picture)! The ones that my sis n i thought were hot looked damn weird, and most of the guys that were not so cute in the pics looked kinda hot. anis also thought she saw two of the guys staring at us! hehe! If only that was true! doesn't hurt to dream, though, does it? ;)

a new day, a new week, a new year (for me!!!) :]

hey hey!!!

I'm 18 now!!! Yay!!! Now I will be legal to do anything I want to!!! haha...NOT!!! what do i want to do anyways? I'm perfectly content with my life as it is...n exams coming soon! where got time to do any experimenting?

I feel so grateful for all my friends for their gifts on my birthday. I didn't expect a lot of people to remember, so it was sweet when they came up to me and said "happy birthday, alia"...i got really shy...not used to all this attention la....:D Joni n Trish gave me like these really cute (and yummy, too) cupcakes n they sang happy birthday n i was really thrilled...seriously, i didn't expect anything from anyone...to me, if people just remembered my birthday would be enough!I'm not asking for much! but it wouldn't hurt la if they give me some presents....:D And when I came back later that day, I got this card in the mail from Ine...n it arrived right on time! She said that it's a shitty n crappy card, but I really think it's cute! I like crayons! we should all use crayons!

and more memorable moments (what a mouthful!) that happened on my birthday was that some of Anis' friends remembered my birthday. Apparently, Anis n her friends were having their P.E class n one of the girls, kimmy, just said, "oh my god, it's kak ya's birthday today" n they all whipped out their phones to wish me. haha. According to anis, i am apparently her friends "big sister" because by coincidence, her three friends do not have any elder sister and they look up to me as their big sister! (yes, my head has grown three inches bigger! :D n can u see the blush in my cheeks? No? it is there! :P)

but back to reality, exams r coming real soon..............too soon for most of us. Some of us has just recovered from the last round of exams but now we have to get back to studying hard again *sigh*....the reading room n library's always packed nowadays.......i know i should be studying more, but I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lazy.....help me!!!! n i hate INTEGRATION!!!!! I'm gonna make stupid careless mistakes for the math papers! I just know it!!!

gotta go now! Mayb i'll try to study some more....or maybe i won't! ;)

maybe all of us should have one of these...

LOL....:D

the good n the ugly...

I am an F1 fanatic and today's race in Albert Park was definitely one of the most exciting if ever seen in my life!!!!!! It was UNPREDICTABLE! i was screaming my lungs out half of the time out of frustration n joy and it was literally a fight until the end for some of the drivers...it was just exhilarating to watch the race!!! and the fact that about 5 drivers crashed their cars was a bonus point, too!!! hehe! i am a sadistic person, don't you think so?

so anyways, my dad told me something that was quite scary just now n it really made me think...we were talking during dinner time about how it was hard to find clothes for my bro n sis because our family is like basically full of people that are overweight (or weight-challenged, as some people call it) n my dad was like, you guys should really lose weight. And I know that I really should try to lose weight as I am quite overweight, although not as bad as I was a year ago, n i am definitely not obese. My dad is a cardiologist, which means that his a doctor that specialises in cardio-vascular or heart-related diseases so when he say we have to losw weight, we really do have to. He was telling us that he was quite concerned with our weight, especially my brother, as we are quite "weight-challenged". And then he went on to tell us that our family has a history of diabetes. My great-grandfather had diabetes, my grandfather has diabetes, albeit a mild one, n my uncle also suffers from the disease. And while we were talking about diabetes, I just remembered that my grand-aunt died last year because of diabetes. and I got scared. I mean, really scared. I just went silent for a moment. And when my dad talked about the dangers of diabetes, I started to panic. My dad said that:

-a person with diabetes has a higher chance of dying compared to a non-diabetic who had just suffered from a heart attack. Isn't that scary?

-stats have shown that diabetics who had suffered a heart attack has a 60% chance of dying after five years while non-diabetics who had a heart attack has a 30% chance of dying after five years of the heart attack

So starting from today, I have decided to cut down some more on my food intake. I shall fast on Mondays n Thursdays n I'm going for walks every Wednesday n Friday. I have set a target for myself....by the end of July, I would lose 8 kgs n i will try every thing possible to achieve that goal n I pray to God that my siblings n i will be spared from diabetes.

paranoia...

Song of the day: Nickelback - Saving Me

I've been writing long-winded entries so I decided to write something that's short n (suppposedly) sweet...

i'm scared of myself right now.......

i'm usually someone who is really careful with my money, but i realised that I've been spending quite an amount of clothes this past week...which is really weird for me!!! but on the other hand, these clothes were on sale (hehehehehehehe!) n they're really pretty....i think i bought 5 new tops this last week...2 pairs of shoes...n 2 pairs of jeans....oh crap....but the total cost is less than RM 300...so it's not so bad (the clothes were on sale!)...but the guilt is still there....i guess the consolidation point is that i won't be shopping anytime soon since i'll be busy with the upcoming exams....n that most of my old clothes have grown too big for me...sigh....i feel like some shopaholic now....

I just realised that this is the last weekend before I turn 18...hahaha! I feel old suddenly...but most of my friends all like to point out that i'm a baby next to them...perks of being young, I guess! :D i wonder what will happen when I turn 18....i guess i'll find out soon!